slightly paranoid

So the other day my mom and I go to Ikea to look for a desk lamp. After walking around the store for a while we make it to the registers. I look over to see the most perfect body I’ve ever seen on a woman standing with her back to me in the next line over. Her back is still turned to me after moments which seem like hours waiting for her to turn the fuck around so I can see her beautiful face. I’m screaming to myself, “stop looking at the chocolate, bitch, and just turn around!”

Then she turns around.

Holy shit was this bitch ugly as balls. Her face was a fucking image of Satan’s wrinkled testicles.

But how can this be? How can such an amazing body have such a terrible face attached? I could do nothing but ask myself this question the entire 40-minute ride back to my ranch-style home.

This happened on Wednesday. I still can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t fathom the reasoning behind her body being so utterly perfect but her face being the exact opposite. I guess there are just things in this life that I truly don’t understand. Maybe I’m too young, or simply inexperienced, but this is one thing I can’t seem to figure out.