slightly paranoid
by Matt Morano

West Coast Represent

Katy Perry: E.T.

I like it. It’s catchy. So eat shit and fuck off.

*

So, the backyard tiki wedding next year? Not happening. Kristen and I will be leaving Long Island much much sooner than previously expected. In about 4-months or so, we’re going to pack the kitties in the car and drive across the country to Washington and never look back. The only detour will be in Las Vegas to get married. I’m pretty excited. I mean, I’ll go to fucking China if it means being with this girl. Don’t know how the cats would like it in China though.

But really, fuck Long Island. It’s just too expensive to live here.

The plan is to save like fucking crazy people until then. So, in other words, no more fun. Well, that’s not entirely true. We’re going to Massachusetts for a few days next month for my birthday. So, that’s going to be fun. But that’s it. Apart from those few days, it’s all going in the bank and not being touched. Four days alone with her will be quite fun though.

Both of us are going to transfer our jobs to the Home Fucking Depot in Silverdale, Washington. It won’t be an issue for her because they always need more service desk help. But, me? Well, who knows if that store would take on an extra full-time Puller or, fuck, even Lumber associate. I’ll take whatever I can get. Paint, hardware, flooring, whatever. Our jobs transferring over is extremely important because we’ll need to begin making money immediately. Plan B is for the two of us to sell sex. Plan C a 4-piece crime-fighting team comprised of us and the cats. Trust me, I’ve got this shit all figured out.

There’s so much shit to get sorted out before doing this. It’s all making me extremely nervous, but at the same time, I’m so excited to leave with her. Plus, she’s done this cross-country move twice before, so that helps.

The Mean Streets of Port Jeff Station will become a lot less meaner. Bitches.

Was President Lincoln okay?

(Source: fyspringfield.com, via fyspringfield)

Noodles

Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

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Say what you want about Limp Bizkit, but this has to be one of the best nu-metal songs of the 90’s. And “…break your fucking face tonight!" is an all-time classic line. It just is.

(Source: heroeswalk, via itsalwayssunny)

(Source: wildmidwest, via topgear)

yourmonkeycalled:

liartownusa:

Country Recess Children’s Whiskey… Since 1889

"When the bells ring out and the doors swing open onto bright Spring sunshine, it’s time for Country Recess."

yourmonkeycalled:

liartownusa:

Country Recess Children’s Whiskey… Since 1889

"When the bells ring out and the doors swing open onto bright Spring sunshine, it’s time for Country Recess."

yourmonkeycalled:

This reminded me of those sad porns where a guy gets a dude with a bigger dick to fuck his wife.

yourmonkeycalled:

This reminded me of those sad porns where a guy gets a dude with a bigger dick to fuck his wife.

His voice… holy shit, I love Steven Wilson. And, holy shit, 2:52…

This live version destroys the studio recording a thousand-times over.

(Source: youtube.com)

Steven Wilson - “The Raven that Refused to Sing”

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The best song Steven Wilson has yet recorded, in my opinion.

(Source: youtube.com)